Greedy
by axisofadorable
Summary: Yaoi PruCan Human AU Gilbert x Matthew Gilbert has a fight with his brother and ends up staying with an awesome dude named Alfred. He meets Alfred's shy, introverted twin and sparks fly. Rated MAPLE for content. Lots of Maple for lots of content.


GREEDY

Hetalia: Yaoi: Human AU: GilbertxMatthew

'Gilbert!'

There was the sound of his brother's deep voice cursing in German, and then the slap of something landing on his chest. Gilbert surfaced from a semi-pleasant dream to the unpleasant reality:

Ludwig was pissed at him again.

'What did I do?' he asked, his already rough voice rougher from sleep. 'What did I do now?'

He cracked open one eye and saw Ludwig standing over him. His younger brother was still wearing his coveralls, and his hands were gray with the grease that he had tried to scrub out of them. His blond hair was starting to flop out of its carefully gelled slick-back, and his blue eyes were icy with perturbation as he looked down at Gilbert.

'What did you do?' he asked. 'It isn't what you did; it's what you didn't do. You're such a pig, Gilbert! I don't work hard every day to come home to this. I don't.'

I work hard every day, too, Gilbert thought defensively. He felt on his chest and found the pair of black cargo pants that Ludwig had tossed on him. Thoughtful of him.

Gilbert slid his legs off the couch and stood up. He was only wearing Christmas-red boxers, now he stepped into the pants and pulled them up his lean hips. 'I'll pick it up,' he said.

He scratched his head, fingers catching in shaggy white hair, and squinted at his little brother. 'I'm sorry?'

Ludwig frowned. 'You're always sorry,' he said in an unusually cold voice. 'And the place is always like this. And your damned bird is always screaming, and chewing on everything. Shit, Gilbert, I just want a cold beer and to go to sleep, not fight with you every time I walk in the door.'

'I'm sorry,' Gilbert said again. Shit, was Ludwig really pissed at him this time?

'It's not enough.'

Gilbert froze. He looked up into Ludwig's eyes. 'What?'

'Are you gonna change?' Ludwig asked. 'Can you? 'Cause if you can't, then I don't want to do this anymore.'

Gilbert fumbled on the floor and found a T shirt. He pulled it over his head, not caring that it was dirty.

'I was tired,' he said, trying to keep his own voice level. It would be easy to fly off the handle and yell at Lud, but that wouldn't help right now. They might even come to blows.

He had never hit his brother, but there was always a first time, right? 'I didn't get home until 4am. I just wanted to sleep a little. Why are you chewing my ass so hard? It's not like you've said anything before…'

Except, he had.

He'd said something a bunch of times, but Gilbert had just thought it was Ludwig being Ludwig.

His brother was a neat freak, even a little bit of a germophobe. They were total opposites in every way, but they had been living together ever since Gilbert broke Ludwig out of his last foster home. Seven years, wasn't it?

Now, what? Was Ludwig kicking him out?

It's my place, Gilbert thought, although technically it was Ludwig's just as much, since Gilbert had put him on the lease.

Also, Ludwig paid most of the rent since he made more money than Gilbert did. But still…

He had done so much for his brother, was this really how Ludwig wanted to repay him?

Then again, maybe it was his fault. He was messy, and reckless.

Despite the fact that Gilbert was older, Ludwig had always been the more mature one. Was that Gilbert's fault?

Maybe it was.

Was he the shit, or was Ludwig?

'Why?' he asked, trying to get his bearings.

'Why what?' Ludwig went to the fridge and grabbed a Heineken. He popped the cap off with his thumb and took a swallow.

'Why are you yelling at me? I'm your brother.'

'I know you're my brother.' Ludwig drank some more of his beer. 'I love you, Gilbert, but I'm sick of living in a dump. I'm tired of tripping over your clothes, I'm tired of washing your dishes, and I really, really hate your fucking bird.'

What? Gilbert glanced over at the birdcage that took up most of the living room. His sun conure, Gilbird, was hanging on the bars, chomping down on one with his little black beak as if he wished it was Ludwig's finger.

Gilbert suddenly wished it was, too.

'Wow,' he said. 'Hey, fuck you, too.'

'What the hell!' Ludwig slammed his beer down on the counter and stomped across the room until he was directly in front of Gilbert. 'What did you say, Brother?'

'I said, fuck you.'

'Fuck YOU, Gilbo.'

'Fuck you more, Lud. You know what, if you don't want me here, that's all you have to say.' Gilbert grabbed his shoes and jammed them on his feet, then snatched up his wallet and phone from the coffee table. 'I'll go. Is that what you want? Will that make you happy?'

'Gilbert-'

'And I'll fucking take Gilbird. Since you hate him so much.' He went to the cage and opened the door. 'C'mon Gilbird.' The parrot climbed onto his finger and then scuttled up his arm to his shoulder, where he nestled into Gilbert's hair. Gilbert felt the bird's beak close on the rim of his earlobe, a nibble, not a bite. 'I love you,' Gilbird said in his scratchy miniaturized voice.

'Oh, yeah?' Gilbert said. 'Well, you're the only one.' He grabbed his hoodie from the back of the couch. 'Check you later, Ludwig. I'll... send for my stuff. Or something.'

'Gilbert-'

'Don't worry about it.' He opened the door, then slammed it with himself on the outside.

He was shaking, and his palms were wet with cold sweat.

Wow, he thought. I just walked out on Ludwig. I never thought I'd do that.

And then- Well, if that's what he wants, then fuck him. I don't need him, and I don't need this place.

He walked down the stairs and then out of the building onto the sidewalk. It was dawn outside, the sky graying and the air just a little bit chilly.

Gilbird squeaked and flipped his wings a little bit and Gilbert put a hand over him to hold him steady.

Shit, he hadn't thought this through. Way to be awesome, Gilbert.

Now you're homeless, and so is Gilbird.

He didn't even have food for his pet, and what was he going to do with Gilbird without a cage to put him in?

For that matter, where was he going to sleep?

I could go back, he thought.

And then- No way.

He had expected Ludwig to come after him, but Ludwig hadn't. Ludwig had just let him go. Maybe this really WAS what he wanted. If so, Gilbert was NEVER going back.

I can get a motel or something, he thought.

I can get another apartment…

Except he had nothing for a down payment, and a motel would eat up all his cash fast.

If he didn't have a place to sleep and to leave Gilbird, how would he go to his job this evening?

Fuck…

And then he thought- Hey. There's that guy. I could call that guy.

He had met him a few weeks ago… Alfred.

They had really hit it off. They had hung out a couple times, and Alfred had told Gilbert he should come over some time, maybe stay for a weekend. Alfred was almost as crazy as Gilbert was.

If he called Alfred now, took him up on that invitation, it would give him a chance to figure something out.

Gilbert got his wallet out and dug through it. He knew he had the number somewhere… There it was.

Is it too early to call him? Nah, he's an early riser, like me…

He dialed the number and held the phone to his ear.

After a few rings, he heard a sleepy mumble over the phone line.

'H'lo?'

'Alfred?'

'Um, Alfred's in the bathroom. Who is this?'

The guy had a really soft voice. Or was it a girl? Gilbert had to strain to hear. 'Can you get him?' he asked.

'Who is this?'

'Just tell him it's the awesome Gil.'

'Gil.'

'Gilbert. Just tell him.'

''Kay.'

Silence on the line for a couple minutes and then Alfred came on. 'GilBO! What's going on?'

'Uh, I had a fight with my brother, and I kinda… Well, I kinda kicked myself out. And now I'm standing on a street corner.'

'Oh, shit. Hey, you had breakfast yet?'

'No, I just woke up, rolled off the couch and me and Lud got into it.'

'You wanna come over? My brother's a great cook.'

'Is that who answered the phone?'

'Yeah. Matthew. He's a little weird but you'll get used to him. So, you wanna come over and chill? Dude, it'll be so cool. I was just thinking about you. Shit, have breakfast and you can stay here. For whatever. As long as you want. My brother won't care.'

'Are you kidding?'

'No, I'm serious. It'll be cool.'

'Alfred, that would be AWESOME.'

'Then it's settled. Hey Matthew! Make enough for three.'

'Unless he minds,' Gilbert said.

'He doesn't mind.'

'Hey, I've got my bird with me. Is that okay?'

'Bird?'

'Yeah, my parrot.'

'Dude, like a pirate?'

'I guess.'

'Well, my brother's got a cat, but he used to belong to an old lady, so he's really fat and he doesn't have any claws.'

'Gilbird can take care of himself.'

Alfred laughed. 'I'd like to see him chasing Kumajiro around the house. So do you have wheels or do you need a ride?'

'I'm walking,' Gilbert said.

'No, man, I'll come pick you up. Where are you?'

Fifteen minutes later Alfred's Camaro squealed to a stop beside Gilbert.

'Gilbo! Get in. The pancakes are gonna be cold.'

Gilbert slid into the car.

Alfred was grinning like a loon. His blond hair was messy, and one bit in the front stood straight up. His glasses had a piece of tape holding the nose-piece together, behind them his blue eyes sparkled with glee.

'This is gonna be awesome,' he said. Reaching across, he flipped the radio on and loud rock music filled the car.

Gilbird screamed along with it, and Alfred laughed.

'He likes it!'

'He likes anything loud.'

'Man, he's cute. So you fought with your brother? Dude, is he really uptight?'

'Yeah.' Gilbert scratched his head. He kind of didn't want to talk shit about Ludwig.

'He kicked you out?' Alfred asked. 'What a dick.'

'No, he didn't kick me out. I got mad and left. I guess… I'm always making a mess of the place and he's tired of cleaning up after me. He said some stuff, and… I just got pissed.'

'Wow. I mean, he sounds like a mom. My brother doesn't care if I mess the place up, and it's his house. Our grandmother left it to him.'

'Damn. That's pretty cool. So you live with him?'

'Yeah, I mean, it's his place I guess, but he pretty much does what I say. We're twins, you know, but I'm older so I can boss him around. Is your brother older?'

'No, I am.'

'How old are you, Gil?'

'25.'

'Oh, man. Me and Matt are both 21.'

'Ludwig is 21.' Gilbert sighed. 'I think he's really pissed at me.'

'Forget him.' Alfred rolled his window down. He was wearing a brown leather jacket with a furry collar, but Gilbert was just in a t-shirt. He shivered a little bit, and put his hand over Gilbird to keep the draft from him. 'Thanks for doing this,' he said. 'Man, I didn't know where I was gonna go. I just flew off the handle.'

'It's cool.'

'You sure your brother won't mind you bringing someone home?'

Alfred winked. 'Happens all the time,' he said. 'No, seriously, it's fine. Even if Matt doesn't like it, he won't say anything. He's really quiet. He's a great guy but he's not really a people person, so he might rather you're not there. But he'll get over it.'

'Okay.'

'Here we are.' Alfred parked the car and got out. 'Home sweet home.'

'Wow.' The house was huge, a rambling farmhouse type deal that looked out of place in the suburban neighborhood it was in. There was a huge tree in the front yard and Gilbert stared up at it.

'You like it?' Alfred asked. 'That's a pecan tree. You should taste my bro's pecan pie, it's orgasmic.'

'Wow,' Gilbert said again. He grabbed his hoodie off the car seat and closed the door.

'C'mon,' Alfred said. He opened the front door and waved Gilbert in.

Inside, the house was cool and dark. There was a big hooked rug on the floor in the foyer, and Gilbert wiped his shoes on it. Alfred didn't bother to.

As they stepped into the living room, a huge white cat ambled forward and sniffed Gilbert's pant legs.

'Hey,' he said.

'That's Kumajiro.' Alfred bent and thumped the cat on the back. 'He's a tank.'

'He's huge.'

'He's a Maine coon. See his eyes? They're two different colors.'

'Oh, cool.'

'So you think your bird can handle him?'

'Oh, yeah. Gilbird's a mean little fucker.' Gilbert put his hand up to the bird, and the conure climbed onto his knuckles. 'See the kitty, Gilbird?'

'Kitty.' Gilbird walked sideways along Gilbert's arm, looking at the cat. 'Here, kitty kitty. Awesome. Fuck you.'

Alfred snorted and then cracked up laughing. 'He's whack,' he said. 'C'mon let's go eat.'

'Where's your brother?'

'Probably in the kitchen. He's like, a total wife.'

Alfred led the way through the living room, down the hall, through the dining room, and into the kitchen, which was huge and homey and lit by golden lamplight.

The guy at the sink turned as they came in, and Gilbert's first impression was, wow, I thought Alfred said 'brother'.

He was wearing an apron over a red long-sleeved T-shirt and black jeans, and his feet were bare. He had a mop of hair that was more golden-brown then blond, big purple eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses, and a face that was a more delicate version of Alfred's. With those eyes and that stubbornly pointed chin, if he was a girl, he would have been hella cute.

Snagging a maple-leaf printed hand towel, he dried his hands, looking anywhere but at Gilbert.

'Hi,' Gilbert said. 'I'm the awesome Gilbert.'

'Hi.'

The voice was even softer and breathier in person. Matthew finally looked up, and nailed Gilbert with those eyes.

Damn, Gilbert thought. Okay, he's cute. And he is NOT happy that I'm here.

'Sorry to impose,' he said. 'Your brother says it's okay if I stay here for a few days.'

'It's fine,' Matthew said. 'Everything's ready. I'm gonna go upstairs, okay? You can serve yourselves.'

He tried to slip by Gilbert, and instinctively, Gilbert caught him by the wrist. 'Hey. Aren't you going to eat?'

'I... I…' Matthew didn't pull away, just went very still in Gilbert's grip. His wrist felt fragile, as if his bones were as light as Gilbird's.

'Hey, better let go,' Alfred said from beside them. 'He's gonna freak out.'

Gilbert let go. 'Sorry. I didn't mean-'

Matthew pulled his wrist loose from the slackening hold and almost ran from the kitchen.

'See? I told you, he's a little weird. But he'll get used to you.'

'Is he okay?'

'He doesn't like to be touched, and he's shy. But he's fine.'

'Wow.' Gilbert shook his head. 'I really fucked up, huh?'

'Nah, it'll be okay. Just don't do it again.'

'I won't.'

'Okay, let's eat! We got pancakes, and sausage, and look at this, he even made scrambled eggs, and toast. What did I tell you? He'll make somebody a great wife.'

'That's not really funny,' Gilbert said. 'I mean, he does look like a girl, but he's still a guy.'

'Whenever he gets involved with somebody, he's gonna be the wife. Trust me.'

'Is he gay?' Wow, where did that question come from?

'Why? Are you interested?' Alfred winked at him. 'I don't know what he is. I am, and we're twins, so maybe he is too. What about you, Gilbo? Do you like guys or girls?'

'Umm.. No comment?'

'Hey, I told you mine.'

'Girls. But things with my girlfriends never work out, so I'm not into anybody right now.'

'Aww.. Too bad.'

'Why?'

''Cause you're hot. But it's okay, I've already got somebody I like.'

What a weird conversation, Gilbert thought. He took a bite of pancake. 'Is it really okay that your brother doesn't eat? I mean, he cooked all this. I didn't mean to steal his breakfast.'

'You wanna go ask him to come back down? You know, Gilbo, you might be good for him.'

'I don't want to bother him.'

'No, you know what? Go do it. Go get him.'

'Shouldn't you?'

'No. You.' Alfred pointed. 'His room's at the top of the stairs. Go on up. Tell him you want him to eat with you. Are you SURE you're not interested?'

What the hell, Gilbert thought. 'He's cute.'

'AlRIGHT!' Alfred high-fived him. 'You have my blessing.'

'For what?'

'For whatever. Go get him.'

Gilbert stood up. 'I want you to know, this is the weirdest conversation I've ever had.'

'Cool.'

'Awesome.' He climbed up the stairs, remembering the way Matthew's wrist had felt in his hand. Why was he remembering that? And why was he wondering what the rest of the guy's skin felt like?

Shit, Matthew really was cute.

I didn't know I liked guys, Gilbert thought. Maybe I don't. Maybe it's just him.

He stood outside Matthew's door for a moment. He couldn't hear anything from inside the room.

Maybe he's not even in there, he thought. Before he could change his mind, he knocked.

There was silence for a moment. Then he heard Matthew's voice.

'Alfie?'

He knocked again, and Matthew opened the door. The apron was gone. He had taken his glasses off, too, and his eyes looked red, as if he'd been crying. He blinked at the sight of Gilbert, then gasped and started to close the door. Gilbert put his hand out and caught it.

'Hey, wait,' he said.

'P-please don't,' Matthew said.

'Don't what? I'm not gonna do anything. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.'

'For what?'

'For grabbing you.'

'Oh. I- It's okay. I just can't… I…' He winced.

Gilbert shrugged his shoulders, and Gilbird squeaked at the jouncing.

'Oops. Sorry, buddy,' Gilbert said to the bird. He put his hand up and got a finger nipped for his trouble. 'Uh oh. He's pissed.'

'Is that…' Matthew peered at the bird. 'Oh. He's cute.'

So are you, Gilbert thought.

'Thanks,' he said aloud. 'So, hey. Will you come down and eat with us? Please?'

'I really don't-'

'Please?'

Matthew bit his lip.

Ouch, Gilbert thought.

And then- Damn, quit looking at him.

Oh wait- I can't.

'Okay,' Matthew said finally. He had pulled the sleeves of his long-sleeved T down over his hands to mid-palm, now he folded his fingers over the fabric. 'I guess.'

'C'mon,' Gilbert said, to hide his own flustered state. He turned and went down the stairs, and Matthew trailed after him, silent, like a little ghost.

'Mattie!' Alfred said when they arrived back at the table. 'You came!'

'Yeah.'

'You okay?'

'Yeah.'

'You gonna eat?'

'Yeah.'

'Alright! Twin power!' He bumped his fist against Matthew's. 'So what do you think of Gilbert? You okay with him staying here?'

'I guess.'

'He's not gonna mess with you.'

'I know.'

'Will you be alright when I leave?'

'I guess.'

'Okay, Mattie.'

Gilbert picked up his fork and ate a bite of pancake. 'Wow, Matthew, these are AWESOME.'

'Thank you.'

'You made all this yourself?'

'Yeah.'

'You like to cook?'

'Yeah.'

I guess monosyllabic answers are all I'm gonna get, he thought.

When Alfred finished eating, he stood up. 'Hey, guys, I gotta run. Gilbo, will you be okay? Matthew can show you where everything is. You guys have fun!' He blew a kiss towards his brother, then winked at Gilbert.

Was Matthew blushing?

Hmm, Gilbert thought.

'See you later, Alfred,' he said.

Well, it's just me and Matthew now. Wonder how Matthew feels about that.

He glanced over and his eyes caught Matthew's violet ones. Matthew blushed and looked down.

'Fuck,' he whispered in his soft, breathy little voice.

Gilbert felt a lurch in his stomach. Something inside him said, oh, YES.

'I have to-' Matthew started. He rose abruptly from his seat, and Gilbert got up too.

'Matthew, wait,' he said. Matthew tried to go around him, and he reached out again and caught the same wrist. 'Hold still a minute,' he said.

'Let go…' Matthew breathed.

'Not until you listen. I don't know what's going on here, but we need to talk.'

'Gilbert, let me go.'

The sound of Matthew saying his name brought on that odd lurch in Gilbert's stomach again. Without meaning to, his grip tightened around the other man's wrist, and Matthew gave a little, half-choked gasp.

'Matthew,' Gilbert said. 'Stop running away from me. You don't even know me.'

'Please,' Matthew said.

'Please what?'

'Let me go.'

'Do you really want me to?'

Wow... Where did that come from? But he really wanted to know.

Matthew's head dropped, hiding his eyes behind a curtain of golden brown hair. 'I… Gilbert, PLEASE,' he said.

Gilbert reached out with his free hand and caught Matthew's chin gently between his fingertips. 'What would you do if I said no?'

'I…'

'Matthew. What would you do if I said I wanna kiss you?'

'Gilbert!'

'Is that a no? Or a yes?' He tugged a little bit, bringing Matthew toward him. 'Matthew? Look at me.'

'I can't.'

'Ah, fuck.'

Gilbert let go of Matthew's wrist and put one hand on either side of the other man's face, tilting it up. Matthew's eyes were wet, and his teeth were bared in a little snarl of effort. 'Don't,' he said.

'Don't what?' Gilbert asked. 'Kiss you?'

'Don't mess with me! Alfie said you wouldn't!'

'I'm not messing with you.'

'He told you I'm… He told you. And now you're messing with me, and it's fucking mean. So stop.'

'I'm not messing with you, Matthew. God, do you have any idea how adorable you are?'

Matthew just stared at him with wide eyes.

He doesn't have any idea, Gilbert thought. That means it's my job to show him. 'That fucking apron you were wearing…' he said. 'That hair.. those EYES. Jesus. You're so gorgeous and you don't even know it.'

'Gilbert…'

'Matthew.'

I'm gonna do it, he thought. I'm fucking going to.

Lowering his head, he kissed the corner of Matthew's mouth. He felt Matthew's breath whisper past his cheek, smelling of maple syrup and sage. Matthew gasped, and a small, shaky whimper escaped his throat as Gilbert moved his lips sideways until they were squarely on Matthew's.

Then he felt Matthew's hands land on his shoulders, and Matthew's fingers hooked into his shirt and Matthew's mouth opened under his. He seemed to want some tongue, so Gilbert gave it to him.

'Mmph- ah!' Matthew said.

Gilbert pulled back a little bit. 'Okay?' he asked.

Matthew's eyes were huge.

'G-Gilbert,' he said.

'Oh, yeah,' Gilbert said. 'The awesome Gilbert, remember?' He put his hands in Matthew's hair, because he just wanted to. It was silky and heavy and poured through his fingers like water. 'This is gorgeous,' he said. Matthew stared at him as if he was from another planet. 'Are you scared?' Gilbert asked him.

After a second, Matthew shook his head fractionally.

'Are you sure?'

Another head shake.

'Okay.' Gilbert slid his hands down out of Matthew's hair until they cupped his face again, then leaned down slowly.

'Gil…' Matthew whispered.

Gilbert kissed him. He sucked Matthew's bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it lightly, then ran his tongue tip over the spot. When Matthew's mouth opened, he slid his tongue inside and circled the tip of Matthew's.

Matthew's hands were fisted in his shirt, and somehow they had moved until Gilbert had Matthew backed up against the kitchen counter.

Matthew was kissing him back. He was tentative, but he was doing it. And then he stiffened. His whole body went rigid and suddenly his hands were pushing Gilbert away instead of dragging him closer. 'Stop,' he said.

Gilbert stopped.

'Let me go,' Matthew said in a small, shaky voice. 'For reals.'

'Okay.' Gilbert let go of him and backed away.

Matthew put his hands over his face. 'Can you… Can you just… I need to go to my room.'

'Matthew?'

'Just, don't.'

Oh, fuck, Gilbert thought. 'Okay,' he said. 'I'm sorry.'

Fuck. You screwed this up. Stupid fucking Gilbert. Not awesome.

Matthew was shaking his head.

Gilbert put one hand into his own hair and pulled it. Fuck, he thought again. 'I didn't mean to…' he said aloud.

'I know.' Matthew edged around him, and this time Gilbert didn't try to touch him. It made his chest hurt, the way Matthew wouldn't look at him.

'I'm really sorry,' he said again.

'S'okay.' Matthew backed out of the kitchen. 'I'm going upstairs. You can hang out down here or whatever. Alfie will be back later.'

I can't let him go like this, Gilbert thought. He probably hates me now or something. 'Matthew… Please wait,' he said.

Matthew stopped. He kept his back to Gilbert. 'What is it?'

'Do you… Do you want me to leave?'

'No.'

'Are you mad at me?'

'No.'

'I didn't mean to go too far.'

'You didn't.'

Wow, a two word answer. That was an improvement, right?

'Are you ever gonna talk to me again?' he asked.

'I don't know,' Matthew said.

Well, fuck.

This time when he left, Gilbert didn't try to stop him.

After Matthew was gone, he prowled around the kitchen. It was really neat and clean, the way Ludwig tried to keep theirs.

The only dirty dishes in the sink were the ones from their breakfast. There wasn't even a dirty pot or mixing bowl, just some serving dishes.

After a minute, Gilbert got a sponge and some soap off the counter and washed the dishes. It had been a while since he'd done it, and he felt guilty when he realized that.

What was Ludwig, his maid? He shouldn't have made his brother clean up after him.

Of course, he hadn't meant to. He just hadn't felt like doing it himself, so he had let Ludwig live in his mess until Lud got sick of it and did what he always did.  
He shouldn't have kissed Matthew, either.

Just because he wanted to, didn't mean he had the right.

Even if he thought Matthew wanted him to, too.

Gilbert put the sponge down.

Gilbird was crooning in his ear, little words and snatches of song. Gilbert put his hand up, waited for the bird to climb on, and lifted him to eye level.

'You love me, right? You still think I'm awesome?'

'Awesome,' Gilbird said. He leaned forward and beaked Gilbert's nose. Just a love bite.

Then he hopped back onto Gilbert's shoulder.

It was Ludwig who had named the bird. 'He's just like you,' Lud had said when Gilbert brought the chick home from the pet store where he worked. 'Loud, obnoxious and messy.'

'They were gonna throw him away!' Gilbert had protested. 'I had to take him. They couldn't sell him, 'cause he bites. And he's supposed to be, I don't know, orangey, but he's all yellow instead. They said he's a mutant.'

'See? Just like you.'

Thinking of his brother now made Gilbert wince.

'Maybe I should call him,' he said to Gilbird.

'Call him,' Gilbird agreed. He blinked round bronze-colored eyes and let out an earsplitting shriek. Gilbert winced.

'Use your inside voice,' he said.

Gilbird shrieked again.

'I'm gonna have to get you a cage,' Gilbert told him. 'And some food. I wonder where Alfred wants me to stay. You feel like exploring?'

''Ploring,' Gilbird said. He squatted down and let nature take its course on Gilbert's T shirt sleeve.

'Thanks,' Gilbert said. He got a napkin and some more soap and cleaned up the minor mess, then scratched Gilbird's head with his fingernail. 'C'mon,' he told the conure. 'Let's go see if we can figure something out.'

The house was HUGE. It was also freakin' sweet. There were like 5 bedrooms and two baths, the huge kitchen, the living room and foyer he had already seen, plus a parlor with a grand piano in it and some more stuff up by Matthew's room that he didn't explore.

He figured Alfred had meant for him to have one of the downstairs bedrooms, but he couldn't figure out which one since they were all set up as guest rooms. One had a lot of British crap in it and one seemed like an homage to France. The third was fairly anonymous, and he hoped that was the one that Alfred meant for him.

There was a big window with a view of the pecan tree in the front yard, and Gilbird seemed very taken by the metal curtain rod above it. He fluttered to the lofty perch, then preened his wings briefly, pulled one foot up into his breast feathers, and went to sleep.

'Well, that takes care of you,' Gilbert said softly. 'What about me?'

The bed looked soft and the black and green checkered quilt on it comfy. He hadn't gotten a whole lot of sleep since Ludwig woke him up so precipitously, maybe he should just lie down for a bit. Perhaps sleep deprivation could explain his weird and kind of unawesome behavior with Matthew.

Flopping face first on the bed, Gilbert closed his eyes.

Thinking about his behavior with Matthew brought back a vivid memory of the feel of Matthew's hands clutching his shirt at his shoulders, the taste of Matthew's mouth under his.

Matthew had kissed him back. For a moment, at least, Matthew had wanted him.

And I wanted him, Gilbert thought. Man, I've never wanted anyone that bad before. I would have done him right there against the counter, if he'd let me…

But Matthew hadn't. He might never get the chance to kiss Matthew again.

Would Matthew ever even talk to him again?

'Fuck,' Gilbert whispered. He closed his eyes tighter and forced his face into the coverlet. 'Sleep, bitch,' he told himself. 'Sleep and get some fucking sense, so next time he does talk to you, you don't fuck it up so bad.'

Something heavy thumped onto his back. It was later, a lot later. The light outside the window was starting to dim, and there was no lamp lit in his room. Gilbert jerked awake, cursing.

'Fuck, Ludwig, that's not funny-'

It wasn't Ludwig, it was a big, fat white cat. It meowed at him in a surprisingly high-pitched voice and butted its face against the back of his head.

'Oh,' Gilbert said. 'Hi. Kumawhatsit.'

'Kumajiro.'

'Fuck!' Gilbert said again. He turned his head and got a mouthful of cat fur.

'Matthew?'

'Wrong brother.' Alfred grinned at him. 'Were you dreaming about him?'

'Ow. No. Get this thing off me.'

'He likes you. Hey, don't you have a job to go to?'

'Fuck!' Gilbert thrashed his way out from under the cat, who seemed largely undisturbed by his movements, and sat up. 'What time is it?'

'6:30.'

'Oh. Fuck. I'm gonna be late.'

'Will the animals care?'

'No, but the boss will.'

'OIC.'

'Shit, shit, shit.' He had just realized that he didn't have a car.

'Do you need a ride?' Alfred asked, reading his mind.

'Yeah. Man, I am SO sorry.'

'It's cool.'

'Gilbird. C'mere, bud.' Gilbert put his hand up, and Gilbird climbed sleepily onto it. 'Okay, let's go. Seriously, I owe you one. Or, like, seven.'

'No probs.'

'Is this where I was supposed to be?' he asked belatedly, glancing around at the room. 'Sorry if I imposed.'

'No, this is it. What, didn't Mattie show you around?'

'Um, well…'

'Oh my. Did things go better than I thought? Speaking of Mattie, where is he?'

'In his room?'

'Oh, did they go worse than I thought? Did he flake out on you?'

'No, he… I… I may have done something dumb.'

'Tell Alfie.'

'I'll tell you in the car.'

'Deal.'

Gilbert grabbed his hoodie on the way through the living room.

Alfred hopped in the front seat of his Camaro and patted the passenger side. 'Hop in. Tell all.'

Gilbert got in and put his hand up to shield Gilbird from the draft.

'Okay, well, you know how you said Matthew might be gay?'

'Yeah?'

'I think you might be right.'

'Okay?'

'And you know how I said I'm not?'

'Yeah?'

'Well… I think I might be wrong.'

'Hoo boy. Sounds like a cool story. Go on.'

'Okay, well… I may have… Kind of... Kissed him. Sort of.'

'Sort of?'

'Okay, I kissed him.'

He glanced sideways at Alfred and saw wide eyes. 'Dude,' Alfred said. 'You kissed Mattie?'

'Yeah.'

'What did he do?'

'Well, he kind of got into it. And then I think he got upset. Or scared. Or pissed. Or something. And he told me to stop.'

'Did you?'

'Yeah.'

'Good. 'Cause I wouldn't wanna have to hit you.' Alfred bit his lip. 'Hmm… I kind of wasn't expecting you to move that fast. I mean, or even to move at all. Although I did think you liked him. You looked kind of… Taken aback when you first saw him.'

'I was.'

'He's pretty cute, huh? Total wife material. If he wasn't my brother… And like, my twin, so like, basically me but girlier- I would totally be all over that shiz.'

'Alfred, you're so fucked up.'

'I know, right?' Alfred flipped his turn signal on. 'This it?'

'Yeah. Right in there.'

Alfred parked the Camaro, then looked over at Gilbert with a serious face. 'So, you still wanna do him?'

'Yeah.'

'Is that all you want?'

'Are you asking my intentions?'

'Basically, yeah.'

'That's awesome. No one's ever asked my intentions before.' Gilbert twisted his lower lip sideways and nibbled on it. 'I really like him. I want to sleep with him… I think… Okay, I do, but I also want to get to know him, and like, hang out with him, and cuddle with him and shit. God, I'm lame.'

'No, that's sweet.' Alfred was smiling. 'Gilbert, you're a good dude. I like you. I told you, you have my blessing. I will do everything I can to help you get in my brother's pants.' He held his hand out. 'Shake on it?'

'Okay,' Gilbert said. He grabbed Alfred's hand and shook it. 'You're awesome.'

'Thanks, I get that a lot. You can call me hero, if you want. A lot of people do.'

'Okay, hero.' Gilbert let go. 'I gotta get going or I'll be so late.'

'When do you want me to pick you up?'

'Dude, you don't gotta. I have to be here until 4am. That's when morning shift comes in.'

'I've never seen a 24 hour pet store before,' Alfred said.

'That's 'cause this is the Pet MALL. It's the only one.'

He closed the door of the Camaro.

'I'll pick you up,' Alfred said. 'Stay chill, dude.'

He waved and pulled away.

What a great guy, Gilbert thought. Fuck, I got lucky the day I met him. What a friend.

He pushed open the door of the store and walked in, the familiar smells of the Pet Mall engulfing him.

9 hours of hell to go.

Pet Mall was a shitty place to work. Gilbert loved the animals, but he hated the people who bought and sold them.

Taking care of them the best he could was the only thing he could do to make their lives a little better, and it wasn't enough. Most of the dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds, and fish sold here as pets would end up with people who didn't know how to take care of them, but at least their fates would be nicer than those of the rats and mice that were sold as snake food.

Most people closed their eyes to it, Gilbert couldn't, and wouldn't.

'You're late,' Mariah said, snapping her gum. She was his least favorite coworker, a high school girl with an attitude. When she wasn't flirting with him, she was trying to pick a fight. Figured it'd be her tonight.

'Sorry,' he said, reaching up to scratch Gilbird's head. 'I had some stuff happen with my brother. I'll cover for you next time.'

'I won't need you to.' She grabbed her stuff and headed for the door. 'It's dead, so don't work too hard.'

Was she calling him lazy? Guess it was fight mode, not flirt mode this time.

'Bitch,' Gilbert whispered, too low for her to hear. But inside, he winced.

So, great, even Mariah was calling him out for being a lazy slob.

Did he really suck, or was everyone just out to get him?

At least the animals liked him.

Mostly 'cause the only thing he cleaned well was their cages, and every single one got a head scratch or a snuggle, or in the cases of the fish and lizards, an extra snack- as long as it wasn't live food. That was the one thing he wouldn't do- feed the snakes.

He got into his rhythm taking care of the animals. Every now and then the door would chime and he would have to go to the front for a customer, but as the evening turned to night the customers got fewer and fewer. By midnight, no one was coming in at all and at 3am he put some music on for Gilbird and the other parrots while he counted the register. The sulphur-crested cockatoo started dancing, and Gilbird perched on top of her cage and mimicked her movements.

Gilbird was crazy about the cockatoo, but Gilbert always worried she was gonna bite one of his toes off.

When she looked up at him and stuck her tongue out, Gilbird screeched and Gilbert snatched him off the cage top.

'Okay, that's enough of that.' He snuggled the conure against his chin, and Gilbird nibbled his lower lip, then started trying to clean his teeth. 'Thanks,' Gilbert mumbled around the sharp beak. 'You're so sweet, but I don't need that.'

He kissed Gilbird's beak on its rounded top, then put the bird on his shoulder and went to the cash register, where he wrote out a note for his boss to charge him for a bag of Gilbird's favorite food and a small travel sized cage.

'This is just temporary,' he said, putting the parrot inside. 'Just until we get our real one back, okay?'

'Awesome,' Gilbird said.

'You're expensive, you know that?'

'Awesome.'

'Yeah. And awesome.'

He heard a car horn honk outside. An obnoxious blare that surely came from a Chevy Camaro with Alfred's finger on the horn button.

'You guys be good,' he said. Carrying Gilbird's cage and the bag of food, he locked up and went outside.

The parking lot was empty, except for Alfred's car idling in front of the door.

Alfred's window was down.

'GilBO!' he said.

'Hey, Alfie.'

'Sweet, you called me Alfie. Only my best friends call me Alfie.'

'Awesome.'

Gilbert got in the car.

'Hey, you've got him in a cage.'

'Yeah I don't want him to eat everything in your house. I'll still have him out a lot.'

'That's cool. So how was your day, er, night, at the Pet Mall?'

'Sucky.'

'Cool. My job sucks ass too. I'm a fighter pilot.'

'You wish.'

'No, actually, I'm a bartender. And I'm so great at it, you should totally come and watch some time. See the hero in action.'

'I'd love to,' Gilbert said. He leaned his head back against the seat and blinked at the taillights zipping past. 'Man, I am so beat. I don't think I slept enough earlier.'

'Hey, don't fall asleep in my car. You might drool on the seats. Those are real leather.'

'Then drool won't hurt them.'

'My call, man, my call.'

'Alf, thanks again,' Gilbert said.

'No probs. I like you. If you didn't have your eye on Mattie…'

'I thought you said there was someone…?'

'There is. But he's, like blind. And deaf. Or maybe just dumb.'

'He doesn't know?'

'Dude, he doesn't care.'

'Aw... That sucks.'

'I know, right?'

The rest of the ride passed in silence. Gilbert almost did fall asleep, and he stumbled a little bit after they parked and he was walking through Alfred's living room. 'Man, I so need to lie down,' he said. 'I think I'm seriously sleep deprived.'

Alfred took his arm. 'I'll walk you.'

'You don't gotta…'

'Chill.' He took the bird cage from Gilbert's other hand and slung his arm around Gilbert's shoulder. 'Here we go. Left turn. Walk. Aaand- the bedroom!' He pushed open the door and set Gilbird's cage on the coffee table. 'Featuring your new best friend- the bed.' He gave Gilbert a little push. 'Strip and hit it, dude. I'll get the light.'

'Cool. Thank you.' Gilbert pulled his shirt off, then shoved his pants down his thighs and kicked them loose. He heard Alfred give an appreciative whistle and he smirked a little bit before falling face first on the bed and passing out cold.

If Alfred got the light, or kept ogling his ass for five minutes instead, he never knew it.

'Gilbert! It's morning time and breakfast is calling.' A burst of sunlight from the opened curtains assaulted his face, and Gilbert moaned and rolled over, burying his face in the covers.

'Nooo… Ludwig, let me sleep.'

'I'm not your bro, bro.' Alfred pulled the quilt off him and whistled for the second time. 'Nice body. Lucky Mattie!'

'He doesn't think so.' Gilbert rolled over and cracked an eye open.

'Yes he does,' Alfred said, looking him up and down. 'Mm, mm, nice.'

'Don't make me blush.'

'Could I?'

'Probably. If you keep looking at me like I'm covered in strawberry jam.'

'Dude, if you were covered in strawberry jam I would say the hell with Mattie.' Alfred winked at him. 'C'mon. Breakfast's getting cold.'

'Okay, okay. Hey, do you have anything I could wear? My shit is so dirty. I hate to keep asking for stuff-'

'Dude, it's no thing. 'Course I do, the hero has lots of clothes. Hang on, I'll get something. By the way, would you like to shower?'

'I would love to.'

'Go ahead, then. I'll leave your clothes on the bed.'

The hot water felt wonderful to Gilbert. He soaped his hair with Alfred's shampoo and washed himself thoroughly. He didn't think Alfred would blame him for washing a certain part a bit more thoroughly and recreationally than was strictly necessary, and he felt much improved when he got out of the tub, scrubbed his hair dry with a towel and then slung it around his lower body to make his way out into the bedroom. As promised, there was a set of clothes on the bed.

Black jeans, a T shirt with an American flag on the front and a screaming eagle (he approved of the eagle), and even a pair of lipstick-print boxer shorts and some socks.

'Nice,' Gilbert said. He got dressed, then followed the smell of pancakes and sausage to the kitchen.

'It's pancakes again,' Alfred said, looking up from the table. 'Mattie loves 'em, so it's all he ever cooks for breakfast.'

'I could make something else, if you want.'

Matthew was at the stove, flipping pancakes onto a plate. His mop of hair was damp and combed down, except for one rebellious curl that hung forward and bounced in front of his eyes. The apron was back, and his long-sleeved T was black this time, with the Nine Inch Nails logo in white on the back. He was wearing white and red maple-leaf print pajama pants and they hung low on his hips, baring a slice of pale stomach.

Gilbert realized he was staring and quickly jerked his eyes away.

'I love pancakes,' he said.

'Mmhmm,' Alfred said. He gave Gilbert a knowing look.

Gilbert raised his brows.

Who, me?

'Here,' Matthew said. He set a plate of pancakes in front of Gilbert and then picked up a bottle of maple syrup. 'Syrup?'

'Yes, please.'

Matthew uncapped the syrup, then tilted the bottle and poured a flood of golden-brown syrup over the stack. 'Say when.'

Gilbert looked at Matthew's delicate wrist poised over his plate. His eyes followed the blue vein to where it disappeared under Matthew's cuff. A drop of syrup slid down the bottle and rilled over Matthew's knuckles, and Gilbert's tongue itched to lick it off.

Matthew stopped pouring and looked down at Gilbert. 'You didn't say when.'

'Sorry.'

Fuck. He was blushing. He could feel the heat in his own cheeks.

Matthew looked at him a little closer, than licked his lips. His eyes suddenly looked darker. His pupils had dilated some, Gilbert thought. He bit his lip, and the pulse jumped in his neck. Gilbert's hand hit his fork. It clattered against the plate, and they both startled.

'Okay, guys,' Alfred said. 'Is it just me, or is the sexual tension through the roof?'

'Shut up, Alfie,' Matthew said. Now he was blushing.

Alfred grinned.

'Just eat.' Matthew set another plate of pancakes in front of his twin. 'I'm going upstairs.'

'Please don't,' Gilbert said. 'Stay and eat.'

'Okay.' Matthew pushed back his curl and pinched his lip between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were just a little too wide.

Gilbert tried not to look at him too overtly as Matthew got a plate for himself, poured syrup on his pancakes and sat down.

'Are you okay?' Alfred asked.

It seemed to be a routine question for them, Matthew didn't even blink. 'Yeah.'

'Cool.'

As soon as Alfred finished inhaling the pancakes on his plate, he stood up. 'Gotta go,' he said.

'Alfie-'

'Seeya, twinsie. Bye, Gilbo.' Alfred blew them both a kiss and bounced out of the kitchen. 'Love ya!'

'Damn it,' Matthew said.

'Does he always do that?' Gilbert asked.

'No. I think he's doing it on purpose,' Matthew said. 'I'm gonna go.'

'Cause you don't want to be alone with me.'

'I CAN'T.'

'Why not? Am I that scary?'

'No…'

'Then why?' Gilbert tried to look as nonthreatening as he could. He even hunched down in his chair some. 'I just want to talk,' he said. 'So why are you always running away from me?'

'Because I can't…'

'Can't what?'

'Can't do this. With you.'

'Do what with me?'

'Gilbert.'

The sound of his name in Matthew's breathy voice made his heart start to race.

'Say it again,' he said without thinking.

'Gilbert-'

'Oh, yeah.' Before he even knew what he was doing, he was standing up.

So much for nonthreatening.

Matthew backed up, looking apprehensive.

'Matthew, don't run away,' Gilbert said. 'Please.'

'Gilbert, don't.'

'I'm not gonna hurt you. I swear. Just, please. Come here.'

'Why?'

He took a breath and felt it shaking. His fingers were trembling too. He'd never felt like this. Never.

'Matthew,' he said. 'Come. Here.'

No one with sense would have, but Matthew did.

Gilbert put his hands on Matthew's shoulders. He felt the delicate bones, and the way that Matthew's breathing was jerking his body. He was trembling too, fine shivers working their way through his muscles. He had closed his eyes, and his long eyelashes lay on his cheeks. They were damp and spiked together.

'Jesus,' Gilbert said. He leaned down and touched a clump of eyelash with his tongue tip. Salty.

Matthew made a small questioning sound.

'Are you crying?' Gilbert asked. 'God, I didn't mean to make you cry.'

'I'm not crying.'

'Are you sure?'

'Of course I'm sure.' Now he sounded pissed.

Gilbert slid his hands down Matthew's arms, rubbing them gently through the shirt. 'Talk to me,' he said. 'Tell me how you feel.'

'Uh uh.' Matthew shook his head. His hair bounced. He was still wearing the apron, which was ridiculously cute.

'Why not?' Gilbert asked.

'I don't want to.'

'Why?'

'I don't want to.'

'Matthew, you are killing me.'

Gilbert nuzzled his cheek. He smelled wonderful. His lips were just inches away.

He'd taste like maple syrup.

God, I want him, Gilbert thought.

'Matthew, kiss me,' he said.

'Fuck,' Matthew said.

'Please?'

'FUCK.'

Matthew lifted his face, snagging a double handful of Gilbert's hair at the same time. His open mouth crushed against Gilbert's, and Gilbert poured his tongue down Matthew's throat before Matthew could change his mind.

Matthew stumbled backwards, and his ass hit the stove. He made a little whimpering sound into Gilbert's mouth, and Gilbert swung him sideways so he was against the counter instead. He pulled back for an instant. 'We keep doing this in the kitchen,' he said when he had the breath to speak. Then he kissed Matthew again.

'Mmmph,' Matthew said.

He pulled Gilbert's hair almost hard enough to hurt, then tore his mouth free and buried his face in Gilbert's neck. 'God,' he breathed. 'What are you doing to me?'

'Same thing you're doing to me.'

Gilbert tipped his chin up with one hand and then ran his tongue along Matthew's bottom lip. It was slightly swollen from his biting.

'Ah!' Matthew said.

'Hey.' Gilbert licked Matthew's bottom lip again, then took his hand away from his face and put them both on his hips instead. 'Here, feel this.'

Pulling Matthew forward, he ground into him a little bit.

'Gilbert,' Matthew said.

'Yeah.' Gilbert dipped his head and pressed his mouth against Matthew's collar bone. The skin there was soft and warm when he nuzzled it, and the small desperate sound that Matthew made told him that Matthew liked what he was doing. Running his hands upward, he found the hem of Matthew's T shirt.

'Matthew,' he said. 'I'm gonna touch you. Okay?'

'Um...' Matthew said.

Gilbert slid his hands under the shirt. He felt the slight dip of Matthew's belly- Man, he's really skinny- and then the edge of his ribs. Matthew flinched and made a small noise of protest.

'It's okay,' Gilbert said. 'It's really okay, see?' He slid his hands higher, over the smooth skin of Matthew's chest. 'Does that feel good?'

'Gilbert,' Matthew said. 'Gilbert.'

Oh fuck, Gilbert thought. If he tells me to stop again…

And then- Shit, I need to tell myself to stop. I shouldn't be doing this. I don't even know if he wants to. This is probably his first time, and I don't even know how to do this with a guy…

He leaned his forehead against Matthew's shoulder and took a ragged breath, his hands still splayed on Matthew's chest. Matthew's nipples were hard under his palms, and his chest rose and fell with rapid breathing. He was either scared, or turned on.

Gilbert was pretty sure it was turned on.

Everything feels right, he thought. He feels so good… But he never told me I could do this. Last time he got so upset, and all we did was kiss.

'Fuck,' he said. 'Matthew? Are you okay?'

Matthew didn't answer.

Gilbert pulled his hands out from under Matthew's shirt and pulled back a little.

'Mattie?'

Matthew's pupils were dilated, swallowing up the purple of his irises. His mouth was a little slack. His cheeks were flushed, and his breathing was rapid.

'Matthew,' Gilbert said again.

'Oh… Um, yeah,' Matthew said. He looked embarrassed and adorable and incredibly turned on.

I did that to him. Gilbert tried to keep the grin of awesomeness to a minimum, but it was hard. 'So… Do you want to do this?' he asked carefully.

Matthew flinched. 'Don't ask me,' he said. 'If you ask me, I have to say no.'

'Why?' Gilbert took his shoulders in his hands, smoothing them with his thumbs. 'Why do you have to say no?'

'Because… I've never… And I don't even know you, and you're gonna get tired of me and I'm not gonna get tired of you. Fuck.' He pulled away and rubbed his eyes. 'Damn it!'

'Matthew?'

'Fuck,' Matthew said again. He looked up at Gilbert, his wide purple eyes filled with a mixture of desire and misery. One tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. 'Why'd you do this to me?' he asked.

'Oh,' Gilbert said. 'Only 'cause I wanted to. So bad.' He grabbed Matthew's wrist. 'I bet you I won't get tired.'

Matthew didn't resist when Gilbert pulled him out of the living room and up the stairs. At the door to his own room, though, he balked a little bit. 'Here?' he asked.

'It's yours, isn't?' Gilbert asked. 'Do you not want me here?'

'It's not that. Just… Keep the light off.'

'Okay.' Gilbert pulled Matthew down onto the surface of the bed.

For a moment he just cuddled him, holding him tightly against his chest

'Oh,' Matthew said.

'You smell good,' Gilbert said. 'And you feel good. I want you so bad. You just don't know. As soon as I saw you, I wanted you.'

'Oh,' Matthew said again.

Gilbert kissed him.

'Gil…' he said. 'Ah.'

'Are you okay with this?'

'…Yeah.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.'

'You can take off your shirt,' Gilbert said.

'Do I have to? 'Matthew asked. He had stiffened up a little.

''Course not,' Gilbert said. He pulled his own off over his head and tossed it on the floor. 'You don't have to do anything you don't want. But you can touch me, too, you know.' Grabbing Matthew's hands, he pressed them against his chest.

'Oh,' Matthew said. 'You're…'

'Awesome?'

'Yeah.'

When he let go, Matthew's hands stayed. They ran carefully over Gilbert's muscles.

'Mm,' Gilbert said. 'Feels nice. You can go lower if you want.'

'Gilbert!'

'Hey, it's gonna happen.' He couldn't take it anymore. He rolled on top of Matthew and kissed him again, then reached under Matthew's shirt and caressed his hands over the silky skin on Matthew's belly. 'Has anyone ever done this?' he asked. Sliding down, he pushed the shirt up and licked the hollow of Matthew's stomach.

'Ow! No!' Matthew said. He put his hands in Gilbert's hair as if he wanted to push him away, but he didn't.

'Shh…' Gilbert licked him again, dragging his tongue downward toward Matthew's waistband. 'You're gonna want to take these off.'

'Gilbert.'

'What?'

'You're making me crazy,' Matthew said.

'I know,' Gilbert told him. 'Has anyone ever jacked you off? Other than you?'

'N-No,' Matthew said. 'Jesus, Gilbert!'

Gilbert unsnapped Matthew's pants. 'Okay, I've never done this for anyone but the awesome me, so bear with me here.'

When he stuck his hand inside Matthew's boxers, Matthew bucked up off the bed. When Gilbert's hand closed around him, his yelp of protest turned to a strangled gasp.

'Mmm.. Fuck… Gilbert,' he said. His body stiffened again, but this time it felt more like impending orgasm rather than resistance or fear. 'Gilbert,' he said again, his voice breathier than ever. 'If you don't ease up, I'm gonna…'

'Go ahead,' Gilbert said. He leaned down and breathed on Matthew's chest. 'I want to feel it.' He slid his hand down Matthew's cock, then up.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck,' Matthew said. 'Oh, shit.'

'Coming?'

'…Yeah.'

'Good.' Gilbert licked his nipple and Matthew arched up off the bed, gasping his name. Hot wetness exploded over Gilbert's hand.

'Ah!' Matthew said. He went limp.

'Okay.' Gilbert pulled his hand out and wiped it on his pants. He had an irrational urge to lick his fingers, but he quelled it. He didn't want Matthew to think he was a freak. 'Okay, now my turn, please? Just touch me a little. It's not gonna take much.'

He flopped on his back on the bed beside Matthew.

'O-Okay.' Matthew sat up. His fingers were cold when they explored Gilbert's chest.

'Feels nice,' Gilbert said. 'Lower, okay?'

Matthew's hands slid down his stomach. Gilbert could feel them trembling a little.

'Are you scared?' he asked.

'Maybe…'

'Don't be. It's just me.'

Matthew got to his waistband. He fumbled at the button and popped it, then slid the zipper down. Gilbert's cock was hard as a rock and pushing at the opening. He felt Matthew's fingertips graze it, and he made a small urgent sound. 'Please,' he said.

'Okay.'

Matthew tugged the waistband of his boxers down, and his cock sprang free. He felt cold air on his moist skin, and the irritating tickle of a drop of precum sliding down.

And then Matthew's mouth closed over him.

'Jesus CHRIST,' Gilbert said. He flung his head back, and his hands clawed into the covers. Matthew was blowing him, and it felt amazing. 'Matthew,' he said. 'Ah, ah, Matthew… Oh Matthew. Oh fuck. Ahhhh FUCK.'

His vision whited out as he came, but he was still cogent enough to feel that Matthew had swallowed.

'Holy fuck,' Gilbert whispered a few minutes later. 'You didn't have to do that.'

'I wanted to.'

Reaching out, Gilbert found him and pulled him down so that they lay chest to chest. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.'

'Man, Alfred is gonna kill me.'

'No, he won't.'

'Then Ludwig will.'

'Who's Ludwig?'

'My brother.'

'Oh.'

'But you know what? I don't care. 'Cause I've got you.'

Matthew took in a breath. 'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.'

'But I'm weird… And you don't even know me.'

'I'll get to know you. And I don't care if you're weird. Maybe I'm weird, too. How do you feel about me?'

For a moment he thought Matthew wouldn't answer. Then he let out a little breath, like a sigh, like capitulation. 'Like if you weren't here, I couldn't breathe,' he said.

Oh, Gilbert thought. Awesome.

Wrapping his arms around Matthew, he buried his face in that mass of silky hair. It smelled like maple sugar. 'Let's sleep, okay?' he whispered. 'I wanna hold you. We can shower later.'

'Okay,' Matthew whispered back.

I'm happy, Gilbert thought. Wow. I'm really happy. And this is crazy and totally fucked up and I really shouldn't have done it, but I'm glad I did.

I think I'm gonna make up with Luddy.

And Alfred maybe won't kill me, 'cause… I kind of think Matthew is happy, too.

He fell asleep smiling.

'Mattie. Hey, Mattie.'

Gilbert instinctively squirmed deeper under the covers and wrapped his arms tighter around Matthew.

'Five more minutes,' he mumbled.

'Mattie!'

The door opened, and the room suddenly got a whole lot brighter.

'Alfie, no!' Matthew yelled.

'Oh, shizznap,' Alfred said.

Gilbert sat up, shocked wide awake. Why had Matthew screamed like that?

Admittedly, he didn't really want Alfred seeing them in bed either, but Matthew's reaction seemed like overkill.

'What is it?' he asked.

'Fuck, Mattie, I'm sorry,' Alfred said. 'I didn't know he was in here with you. Oh shit… you mean he didn't see it...?'

He stopped talking.

Gilbert looked over at him, wondering what he was talking about. Then his eyes took in the sight of Matthew's walls.

Wow.

There was writing on the walls. All over the walls. Covering every inch of them in tiny block letters. All the way up to the ceiling.

Had Matthew done that? He must have needed a ladder.

Gilbert looked around, his eyes growing wide as he saw that even the ceiling had writing on it.

He still had his arms around Matthew, now he could feel Matthew's body shaking in his hold. Matthew made a small whimpering sound. He was mumbling something, but Gilbert couldn't hear what it was.

He leaned down.

'Don't look,' Matthew was saying, over and over. 'Don't look.'

'Matthew?'

'Don't look, don't look,' Matthew said in his little whispery voice.

'Matthew,' Alfred said. 'Show him your arms.'

His arms? What was wrong with Matthew's arms?

When Matthew didn't move, Gilbert took hold of one of his arms and pushed the sleeve up. There was writing on Matthew's skin, too, covering every inch of his arm down to the wrist. Tiny black letters that it were too small to read. Matthew made the little whimpering sound again and tried to pull away.

'Don't,' he said.

'Gilbo,' Alfred said.

Gilbert looked up again. 'What is it?'

'My brother thinks he's crazy. He thinks he's fucked up, and that nobody will ever love him because of it. I tell him that the only crazy part about him is the part that thinks that. But he doesn't believe me.'

'Alfred,' Gilbert said.

'What?'

'I love you. But, get out.'

'Got it.'

Alfred closed the door with a decisive snap.

Gilbert leaned down again, until his mouth was close to Matthew's ear. 'Matthew,' he said. 'You're not crazy. You're not fucked up. You're beautiful and amazing, and I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. You think nobody will ever love you? Well I think you're wrong. Because I fucking do. You don't want me to read that stuff? I won't. Not until you ask me to. And if you never do, that's okay, too. But don't ever think there's something wrong with you, 'cause there's not. You're perfect.'

'Gilbert,' Matthew whispered.

He turned around in Gilbert's arms and pressed himself against Gilbert's chest as if he wanted to burrow inside. 'Gilbert, Gilbert.'

'It's okay, Mattie. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere. Ever.'

Maybe that was crazy, but he meant it.

He wanted this. This weird, beautiful, messed up guy.

This crazy house, with the writing on the walls and the orgasmic pecan pie tree.

Alfred.

Kumajiro. All of it.

He wanted it for him, and for Gilbird, and even for Ludwig.

But most of all, he wanted Matthew.

And I've got him, he thought, holding Matthew close. I've got him. He's all mine.

He kissed Matthew's hair and squeezed him even tighter.

'Hey,' he said.

'Yeah?'

'I love you.'

Matthew squirmed until he could look up at him. His purple eyes were wide and earnest. 'Gilbert… I love you, too,' he said.

'You've only known me five minutes,' Gilbert told him.

'I don't care. Besides, you said it first.'

Gilbert laughed. 'I really love you,' he said.

'I love you too,' Matthew answered again.

'Do you love me enough to have sex with me?' Gilbert asked him.

'I already did that,' Matthew said.

'I mean, again.'

'Gilbert!'

'Matthew!'

'Don't tease me.'

'Oh, no? Not like this?'

'Gilbert…'

'Or like this?'

'Oh… Gilbert.'

'Or like this?'

'Oh, fuck.'

'Or like this...'

This, Gilbert thought, was going to be a great day.

.


End file.
